Violence + Social Media

The 4 R's of Processing Violent News + Social Media Content with Kids

Jeremy Chapman, MD

Medical Director of Child Psychiatry, SSM Health Treffert Center; Director, PsychChild.com

 

Social media feeds are fertile breeding grounds for very disturbing content. Inevitably, the most shocking and unignorable words, images, and videos rise to the top of people’s feeds. As a child and adolescent psychiatrist, I treat young people who are exposed to these horrific stimuli, and I’m often asked by patients, families, and community members how to navigate all this. To make my recommendations easy to remember, I’ve organized them into 4 R’s: React, Research, Reflect, and Reset.

 

Step 1: React

• Allow the child plenty of space for emotions/reactions such as anger, confusion, fear, sadness, and cynicism.

• Listen to your child -- find out what they already know, and ask them what they still want to know.

• Be prepared for unanticipated mood/behavioral changes, which may be related to traumatic exposure, even if the child does not overtly draw this connection.

 

Step 2: Research

• Embark upon a proactive learning journey with your child. Teach your child to challenge both their assumptions and the content they see, to seek credible sources, and to come to you if they’re not sure about the credibility or accuracy of things they read, see, watch, and hear.

• Explain to your child that different people have different perspectives, and that there are many disputes about what is and is not factual. Acknowledge that you yourself don’t have all of the answers.

• Research available settings to control and limit the child’s exposure in social media and elsewhere, and discuss with the child the importance of these measures.

 

Step 3: Reflect

• Invite--but never force--open communication. Be prepared to discuss challenging or unexpected topics.

• Always be honest to the best of your ability, and acknowledge that even you don’t have all the answers.

• Model for your child how to name feelings, process those feelings, and think through the situation, what it means to them, and how it may impact their life.

 

Step 4: Reset

• Help the child reset algorithms in their social media feeds (Google ways to do this).

• Optimize settings to protect your children, based on their age and developmental level.

• Take time to recenter yourself and ground yourself before resuming regular activities.

 

Of course, there are so many more considerations, but this is meant as a starting point. Everybody responds differently to traumatic exposures, and such situations provide an opportunity for improved communication and increased compassion between loved ones, friends, acquaintances, strangers, and even adversaries.