Virtual Love: Using Virtual Reality in Long-Distance Relationships

By Anam Adil, Contributing Author

Long-distance relationships are tough. Video calls help, but they’re no substitute for being in the same room as your partner. Enter VR. While it won’t replace physical presence entirely, it can bridge the gap in a way that video calls can’t quite match. Nathan Grayson, in his piece "Long Distance Relationships Suck, But VR’s Made It Easier," shares his own experience using VR to connect with his partner. The result? While they weren’t physically reunited, he says, “We didn’t feel so far apart anymore.”¹ In other words, VR can help make the distance feel a little less… well, distant.

But what’s the psychology behind it? Why does VR feel more connecting than a flat video call? Grayson explains the experience of being in VR with his partner, saying, "We got close, held hands, and looked into each other’s soulless virtual eyes. My brain filled in the gaps, and for the briefest of moments, it felt like she was there."¹ A concept described by the law of closure in Gestalt Psychology. Essentially, our brains are pretty good at convincing us we’re closer than we really are, especially when the experience is immersive enough. 

The Pros of Virtual Connection

VR lets you be with your partner, not just talk to them. The act of sharing space, even in a virtual world, fosters a deeper emotional connection than a phone call ever could. Additionally, while video calls feel distant, VR offers a much more immersive experience. The ability to see and interact with your partner in a digital space taps into our need for physical proximity, reducing feelings of loneliness. VR also offers better non-verbal communication than a video call. You can pick up on subtle body language and movements, which can enhance the connection and make conversations feel more natural.

The Cons of Virtual Connection

While VR has come a long way, the avatars can still feel a little… off. The lifelike experience is almost there, but not quite, which can make it feel less authentic and more disorienting. VR can be a fun tool to feel closer, but it’s important not to rely on it too much. Real-world interaction is still key to building a solid relationship, and too much VR could create a false sense of closeness. Furthermore, spending hours in a VR headset can leave you feeling tired, which might make it hard to fully enjoy the experience..

Is VR the Future of Long-Distance Love?

In short, VR can enhance the connection in long-distance relationships, but it’s not a cure-all. The emotional benefits are real: feeling “together” in a digital space is a big step up from staring at a screen. But, as Grayson notes, it’s not the same as actually being in the same room. Use VR as a tool to stay close, but don’t forget to balance it with real life connections when you can.

At the end of the day, it’s about finding what works for you and your partner, whether that’s VR, video calls, or something else entirely. What do you think? Could VR help you feel closer to your long-distance partner, or do you think it’s a bit too much?

References: 

1. Grayson, N. (2016, May 9). Long-Distance Relationships Suck, But VR’s Made It Easier. Kotaku. https://kotaku.com/long-distance-relationships-suck-but-vrs-made-it-easie-1775615168

2. Long-Distance Relationships and Virtual Reality. (2023, November 17). Rochester.edu. https://www.library.rochester.edu/about/news/long-distance-relationships-and-virtual-reality

3. Reddit - The heart of the internet. (2024). Reddit.com. https://www.reddit.com/r/virtualreality/comments/1b82pgi/anyone_use_vr_to_meet_and_communicate_with_your/